No One?

February 11, 2008

Dear Alicia Keys,

I find it hard to believe that someone hasn’t told you that your hit song, “No One,” is completely out of your effing range. It may sound ok on the recording (though its dreadful repetitiveness still exists), but whenever you perform it live (and it does appear lately that it’s the only song in your own catalogue which you remember how to perform), you are consistently flat and yell-y on the eponymous chorus. That third “No o-o-one” is especially excruciatingly flat.

No one has told you you’re flat? No one at all?

i suppose every single flipping performance of that song gives me my answer, in more ways than one.

please stop singing,



2 Responses to “No One?”

  1. d. pants Says:

    oh, candudes. you make me smile.

  2. e.p. Says:

    I know I’m new here, but I thought I’d comment about Alicia.

    Thank God I wasn’t the only one who was thinking that!

    You just made my day.

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